Commando
by dreamer.at.heart
Summary: "Does Gaara wear girl's underwear, Kankuro?" Temari and Kankuro question the sexuality of their youngest brother. Except the red thong doesn't belong to him. Not a lemon.


Oh dear god.

I...I'm not sure what this is. I wanted to write a GaaHina oneshot, since I haven't in awhile, and I looked at my list of themes and decided on #52. Underwear, and I thought maybe I'd write something about Gaara wearing boxers with teddy bears or hearts on them or something...

And then my muse decided on this instead.

I apologize in advance.

Um, enjoy?

100 Themes Challenge #52: Underwear

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><p><strong>Commando<strong>

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><p>Gaara doesn't cook. Ever.<p>

Which explains why Temari's jaw drops when she makes her way to the kitchen to the sight of her redheaded brother, sans shirt, making eggs in the kitchen.

And he's _smiling_.

"Somebody pinch me." She mutters under her breath. Then somebody does and she fights back a yelp.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She hisses to her younger brother, who snickers and skillfully dodges when she tries to whack him upside the head.

"You said pinch me. I was kindly – Ugh!" He grimaces when she uppercuts him in the stomach.

"Shut. Up." She growls before turning back toward the kitchen. Gaara is flipping the eggs onto two separate plates now. He's gotten out cups and when the coffee machine beeps, she knows something is truly wrong, because drinking coffee takes time and Gaara considers it a waste.

"Is Gaara _cooking_?" Kankuro hisses, still slightly out of breath from Temari's fist knocking the air out of him.

"Looks like it." She whispers. "Should we be worried?"

"Maybe. Has he – " Kankuro shuts up quite suddenly, and when Temari turns her head she notices that his eyes are as wide as the plates Gaara is putting toast on. "Holy shit, what is that sticking out of his pants?"

Frowning, Temari turns back to watch Gaara crash around the kitchen. She doesn't see anything out of the ordinary, outside the fact that her youngest brother is cooking. "What are you talking –"

And then she sees it. And then she almost falls over.

Gaara's red-and-white plaid pajama pants have pockets on the, erm, butt cheeks, and sticking out of the left pocket is a pair of underwear.

A pair of girl's underwear. A red thong.

"Does Gaara wear girl's underwear, Kankuro?"

He swallows. "Not that I'm aware of. Oh god, is he gay? I don't know how to handle this. I mean, he looks kind of girly, and I swear to Kami that Sai kid was staring at his butt that one time at the BBQ place in Konoha, but –"

And then his jaw drops open. And then she follows his line of sight, and then _her_ jaw drops open.

A very beautiful, very _female_ person enters the kitchen from the other entry way, and Gaara wraps an arm around her waist when she reaches him.

"Good morning, hime." He places a sweet kiss on the top of her head. "Hungry?"

"Mmm." The pale woman standing in their kitchen, wearing a tiny black nightgown, wraps her arms around Gaara's neck and presses her lips to his.

"It smells delicious." She smiles coyly at him and turns toward the plates. They can finally see her face and Temari nearly chokes.

"Is that _Hinata_?" Kankuro sounds like she feels.

Temari loves the little Konoha transfer like a sister. Ever since the former Hyuuga clan head moved to Suna, Temari has finally had a female friend. They go out shopping, have sleepovers, complain about guys and bitchy girls, and tell each other everything.

Except, apparently, that Hinata was seeing Gaara.

"We can eat in bed." Gaara tells her, placing the food laden plates and cups of coffee on a tray. "Unless you want to eat down here."

Hinata shakes her head. "Breakfast in bed sounds wonderful."

They turn to leave, and Hinata's eyes widen. "Oh! I was looking for those!" She tugs on the underwear tucked into Gaara's pocket.

Gaara turns and chuckles when he sees what she's holding. "They must've gotten mixed up with my pants after last night. I think I had tossed them somewhere in the same direction as my pants anyway."

Hinata giggles. "You were awfully eager to get them off me, weren't you?"

Gaara laughs again, and then the two of them disappear from sight.

Temari and Kankuro stand there for a few minutes in silence. Then;

"What just happened?" Temari leans against the wall and slides down so that she's sitting on the wood floor. "Please tell me I didn't just hear my little brother and my best friend talk about having sex."

"I guess he's not gay." Kankuro collapses next to her. He's silent for a moment, and then a lecherous grin crosses his face.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Temari asks suspiciously. Immediately after she asks, she wishes she hadn't.

"Because," Kankuro says, his smile growing by the moment. "Hinata Hyuuga was just standing in my kitchen. _Commando_."

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><p>fin.<p>

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><p>I think I scarred Temari for life. Also, Kankuro is a perv.<p>

Review?

- dreameratheart


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